but I think everyone feels the same. everybody wants to feel okay

lilandij6 @ 2006-11-16T06:45:00

2006-11-16T10:45:26Z

it's 543 in the morning. i cannot sleep at all. everythinggg is changinggggggggggg

lilandij6 @ 2006-09-22T02:59:00

2006-09-22T06:59:31Z

every now and then when im slightly bored i remember that i still have a livejournal.

tonights been pretty routine. meaning its 3 in the morning and me and my suitemates are ordering food that we dont actually need to eat simply bc we feel like it and we can.

my suite is awesome, my friends are awesome. my birthday was incredible. and everything seems to be working out. not to jinx anything but i truly do love binghamton. i knew i would it's what i wanted since i was little but obviously i had my doubts.

being away from my friends is hard but i talk to everyone i love almost as much as i wanted to and while somedays i get slightly homesick mostly for my best friends, about 98% of the time i feel incredibly lucky to be enjoying college this much.

ps. im proud of us all because we're kinda growing up

(most of us are legal now!!! hahaha meghan)

lilandij6 @ 2006-08-23T00:26:00

2006-08-23T04:27:02Z

college tomorrowish. it was all fun while it lasted.

lilandij6 @ 2006-08-08T02:54:00

2006-08-08T06:55:15Z

me and college are kinda in a fight right now

lilandij6 @ 2006-08-01T10:55:00

2006-08-01T14:55:19Z

well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes.

lilandij6 @ 2006-07-27T01:31:00

2006-07-27T05:31:30Z

tick, tick, tick, tick

lilandij6 @ 2006-07-18T00:26:00

2006-07-18T04:25:02Z

sometimes i worry i changed a lot more than i thought i would. and not always in a good way.

lilandij6 @ 2006-07-05T08:11:00

2006-07-05T12:11:54Z

i think we all used to use this more.

lilandij6 @ 2006-06-29T18:53:00

2006-06-29T22:54:17Z

high school is over. johnsons farm life on the farm '06 is beginning. it should be interesting

what i learned in high school

2006-06-14T23:18:38Z

This is how it works
you're young until you're not
you love until you don't
you try until you can't
you laugh until you cry
you cry until you laugh
everyone must breathe
until their dying breath
no this is how it works
you peer inside yourself
you take the things you like
them try to love the things you took
and then you take that love you made
and stick it into some-someone else's heart
pumping someone else's blood
and walking arm and arm
you hope it don't get harmed
but even if it does
you'll just do it all again
--regina spektor

lilandij6 @ 2006-06-09T13:01:00

2006-06-09T17:02:21Z

i'd just like to say i'm really proud of all my friends. we've all complained for four years about how irritating all the stuff we had to do was, but it was well worth it and i think we see that now.

i love all you guys and im super proud of you

lilandij6 @ 2006-06-07T00:04:00

2006-06-07T04:04:51Z

i hate change a lot. i don't deal with it well. i'm usually a jerk when i know it's coming. i apologize in advance.

lilandij6 @ 2006-05-27T01:54:00

2006-05-27T05:54:39Z

ohhh lifee.

lilandij6 @ 2006-05-23T22:33:00

2006-05-24T02:35:08Z

i just requested 3 books from other libraries to read. i love books. especially non fiction. i love reading and learning and nerdy things. and i sometimes miss writing a super good paper.

i admit it. i'm not only going to miss my friends after high school but i'm going to miss the classes. this is why i shouldn't have friends.

i am a 100%

complete

absolute

dork, nerd, loser

and proud of it.

lilandij6 @ 2006-05-17T15:42:00

2006-05-17T19:40:33Z

no more ib tests. very exciting.

lilandij6 @ 2006-05-14T22:13:00

2006-05-15T02:12:56Z

i am currently feeling more uneasy then i have in the longest time. in a month high school is over and that's so terrifying.

my last ib test is tuesday/wednesday. i want it to be over but then school no longer has any sort of a purpose. that's scary also.

i don't think i ever thought i would be going to college or getting older or any of those things. i think im most afraid of getting old. time is so scary

on a good note my moms letting me go into school late tomorrow. that rarely happens.

best chorus moment ever

2006-05-11T00:43:14Z

And the memory seems like dreams
Hundreds of hopes in the past
Nevertheless it was never the last
Hold on strong or you fade out fast
And only one only one

i love chorus. it was probably the best choice i made to stay in it regardless of whether it would bring down my average or make it so i could never cut school my senior year or any other silly reason.

chorus rocks my socks

caawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (meghannn)

lilandij6 @ 2006-05-08T18:58:00

2006-05-08T23:01:28Z

for the record i have absolutely no interest in ib hota, french or business higher level.

this week and next week, are not going to be fun.

maybe i shouldve studied. or rather, maybe i should be studying right now, but. oh well.

lilandij6 @ 2006-05-02T17:04:00

2006-05-02T21:04:55Z

ap calculus tomorrow which means no more gerson's class essentially. im a little nervous but i do enjoy math tests every now and then :)

lilandij6 @ 2006-04-29T22:44:00

2006-04-30T02:45:27Z

tomorrow morning is the last time i need to wake up with god to go to march of dimes. after that, i'm essentially done being a student council officer. it's been my life for so long, just student council in general so it's so strange. what will i do with all this freee timeeee?

lilandij6 @ 2006-04-27T21:52:00

2006-04-28T01:53:50Z

days like today remind me how lucky i am to have the best friends ever. and i really do have them. so if you're confused and think you might have the best friends ever, i'm just letting you know you're wrong because mine definitly are.

lilandij6 @ 2006-04-23T22:06:00

2006-04-24T02:14:16Z

when did the prospect of summer become a bad thing? i can't wait for the weather, the freedom, the beach. but i'd almost rather springtime last forever. i wish i could freeze the time when ib tests are over and when things will be carefree. there's a lot of pressure right now to enjoy school, spend time with friends, (learn 2 years worth of class curriculums, in parentheses because it's technical pressure, but i won't succumb to it, instead i'll ignore the tests until i'm physically taking them). one week of real school, less than a week before i know who is definitly taking my student council place (although they technically aren't officers until june 9th) and a week until people all know where they'll be for college.

somanychangesomanychanges. but we'll make it through. in melissa block's words. "don't worry guys, everything will be a l r i g h t."

lilandij6 @ 2006-04-16T01:48:00

2006-04-16T05:56:56Z

recently i find myself feeling the way you do when you look at an old picture and realize we've all grown up. i always forget that we've changed. and then i remember we haven't changed at all. maybe our hair looks different, we're taller, a little less awkward; but the things that matter most never seem to change.

maybe that's why my best friends have stayed the same for so long. we've all fought against change together and soon we won't be able to anymore because distance forces it upon us.

i like to pretend we'll all come home and see each other and we won't notice the changes. but i'm sure they'll be obvious. maybe someone will have dyed their hair and someone will get their nose pierced (someone always gets their nose pierced). more than likely someone i was close with will seem distant and different in a way i can't understand. but i guess the most important people in my life will probably stay the same.

at least that's what i tell myself when it's 2:00 in the morning on the saturday night before my last april break during high school ends.

ihopethingsneverchangetothepointwhereilosemybestfriendsince7thgrade

lilandij6 @ 2006-04-12T10:31:00

2006-04-12T14:33:53Z

regina spektor <33333 she's so talented

lilandij6 @ 2006-04-04T18:59:00

2006-04-04T22:59:49Z

i ran an estimated 2 miles today. which is intense because, well, i'm lazy. i'm proud